I think in that moment, I knew I was in love
by JemilyDay
Summary: A short and sweet story about how Ponyboy learnt how it felt to fall in love. It's set about a year and a half after the book. I'm new to all this but please readreview if you're a fan of the Outsiders


Great, I thought. The first day of term and I was already late. I just couldn't put that book down.

The wooden desks seated two and there weren't very many empty spaces left. As I sidled over to one, the girl, socy, I think, put her bag on the empty chair next to her and gave me a look that could have frozen fire.

"Filthy greaser" someone muttered as I looked around. I had heard it a million times before but it didn't stop the red creeping up my neck. Boy, does it hurt when people say that. I've never done anything to them.

Just as I was about to turn and walk straight back out again, risking Darry's wrath about bunking off on the first day back, someone spoke to me.

"You can sit next to me if you want to."

The speaker was a girl. I knew her by face because everyone did. She had once thrown a fit in Chem because she didn't want to dissect a living creature. Thought it was cruel or something.

I gave her a somewhat shy smile and slid onto the bench she was indicating to. Gosh, she was pretty.

"It's Pony, isn't it?"

I started. Soc girls like her don't usually like to talk to Greasers like me, in public anyway. Could hurt their reputation. Maybe she didn't care.

"Yes, mam. Ponyboy Curtis."

"I'm Emily Jane. Gee, I wish I had a unique name like yours. Cause it's your own you know. I'm sorry you must be wondrin'…I know you from that newspaper article last year. That was really great. Saving all those kids like that."

She said all this in one breath, which made me blink a bit. It was strange enough for a nice girl like her to address me in school, let alone actually seem interested in starting a conversation with me.

"You may have done the same thing. About the kids I mean. And your names pretty. It suits you." I felt the blush in my cheeks deepen as I realised I had basically just admitted I found her pretty. Soda never blushed no matter how embarrassed he was. Damn my fair complexion, I thought. She must think I'm a real idiot.

She smiled.

"Thanks. That's sweet of you." She seemed as embarrassed as me. She had shiny dark-blonde hair, like gold I realised later, that curled just right. A nasty thought suddenly occurred to me.

"You know, you don't have to speak to me if you don't want to. Or if you're just feeling sorry for me" I said.

"What?" She seemed genuinely confused.

"Like because I'm a Grease or whatever, or cause you know that my friends died last year."

"I judge people for who they are, Ponyboy- not their label. I'm awful sorry about your friends but that's now why I spoke to you. But if I'm bothering you I can stop. I understand."

I looked at her carefully. She saw me out of the corner of her eye and said "What?"

"Nothing" I said. "It's just…you sure can talk the hind leg off a mule."

She looked slightly offended until I laughed. She socked me in the arm affectionately.

And from that moment on…we were friends. I looked forward to those Biology classes every Tuesday morning. For the first time ever, the teacher sometimes ticked me off for chattering too much- instead of sitting still with glassy eyes and keeping my pie hole shut. I guess I could just talk to her.

We could talk all lesson about the world and literature and I told her all about my life, but I could never talk about Johnny and Dallas. Even though it's been a year and a half- it still hurts to talk about them. Maybe you don't ever truly get over something like that.

It was a Friday night and I'd gone over to the Dingo, on my own as usual, to see this film. It was pretty darn awful, to tell the truth. I was leaning against a fence, smoking a cancer-stick before I walked home when I heard a girls voice I recognised, about a hundred yards away. I spotted her looking as though she was trying to walk home, in a crowd of boys. They weren't real posh-looking and they weren't hoods but they were clearly drunk and reeling. I could see her clearly because she was wearing a bright yellow sort of frilly blouse thing. I remember thinking that it looked like the sun.

I couldn't hear exactly what they were saying even though they were all talking in raised voices but I saw one of them grab her bottom and my stomach clenched. She turned around and slapped him hard across the cheek. Maybe it was a silly thing to do, when lots of drunken boys are trying to make a pass at you but you had to admire her bravery anyways.

"How dare you?!" she screeched. "You keep your hands to yourself if you know what's good for you."

This was not a good move.

The lanky boy she had slapped grabbed her and hoisted her up over his shoulder. The other four or five boys wolf whistled and began jostling her around.

"Hey!" I shouted and ran as fast as I could towards him. Darry always says I have no common sense but was I just going to leave her to get mauled? Besides, I wasn't thinking that I'm younger and smaller or that I'm outnumbered five to one. All I was thinking as I ran over was these guys were hurting Em and no one should do that ever. I mean, come on, the girl has never hurt any living thing, including them.

I punched the lanky guy in the face and he dropped Em on the floor, where she got covered in dirt. They ran off then, but not before hitting me to the ground and pounding on my face a little. I won't say that didn't hurt.

"Pony! Jeez, let me take a look at you." She was kneeling next to me and holding her handkerchief, which was steadily turning crimson, to a gash on my forehead.

"I'm okay."

"Clearly not." She said, showing me the red handkerchief. "Talk about my hero, Pony. I don't know what I would have done if you weren't here. And you're all torn up, now, because of me."

"I'm okay, really."

Her voice became more and more high pitched as she spoke.

"If you had died and it was all my fault."

"I'm used to it, don't worry."

"And they were kicking your head and I was so scared that you were going to…"

I grabbed her waist.

"Hey hey. Calm down. I'm fine. Did you really think I would leave you there with those bastards groping you? No. So don't be silly."

She fell into my arms and sighed with relief that we were both okay.

And I think it was in that moment that I really knew that I was in love. And Soda was right. It was real nice.

"Now…" she said after a couple of minutes. "I better take you back to your house and clean that cut up."

When she said that, I sort of got a bit clammy. I'm not ashamed of my home or anything but…she's a nice girl and her house probably looks like a mansion compared to mine. Ours is always messy, despite Darry's best efforts and kind of small. Besides, the gang might be round and boy, can they be rowdy. I didn't want her to think I was rude or anything though, so I agreed and we began the walk back to the house.

I could tell she was slightly nervous as we walked through my rundown neighbourhood. We passed a few greasers on the way and usually they would have been for jumping her, being out of her territory and all, but since she was with me they merely nodded and let us pass. Jeez, as we saw a few Greaser girls on the way- I realised just how different she was from them. And it wasn't just the fact that her skirt wasn't flashing her thighs and she wasn't plastered in garish make-up. It was the way she acted. Like one of them spat just as we walked by and as I heard a snippet of their conversation, and there were hardly any words in there that weren't rude.

I held my breath as I opened the front door. All was quiet. The radio was turned off and I couldn't hear any voices from any of the other rooms. I let out a sigh of relief. Emily started to speak.

"So we'll need a cloth, some warm water and…" She stopped speaking abruptly as Sodapop strolled absent-mindedly out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.

"Hey Soda, how many times have I told you not to leave your dirty socks all over the shop?" Darry asked loudly as he entered from his bedroom. He stopped short when he saw Em standing there trying very hard not to burst into fits of laughter.

"Pony, you didn't tell me we had company. Aren't you going to introduce us?" said Soda, trying unsuccessfully to wipe the smirk off his face.

I started to splutter.

"Apparently not." Said Darry. "I'm Darry and the one wearing no clothes is Sodapop."

"I'm Emily, Pony's friend from school."

"Nice to meet ya" Soda said, shaking Em's hand as she laughed, before darting into our room, clinging onto his towel for dear life.

I rubbed my neck nervously and the next thing I knew, I was being picked up by someone from behind and spun around, almost being knocked into a lampshade.

"I couldn't help overhearing" said Two-bit, the culprit. "Well now Emily, did ya know you're the first girl our little Pony's ever brought home?"

I glared at Two-bit and opened my mouth to say something sarcastic, which would have probably ended up as another splutter, but Emily spoke first.

"Well it's the first time, anyone's ever brought me home."

I gave her a small smile at that, as the door slammed yet again.

"Soda, get your butt moving! We're gonna be late picking up our women!" Steve shouted. "Well now, whose Pony's girlfriend here?"

You could have fried eggs on my face.

She ended up staying for a dinner of chicken legs and new potatoes with Darry, Two-bit and me, and afterwards- I had to show her the lot.

We lay down and looked up at the stars, just like the night Johnny killed Bob, when everything changed.

We were silent for a minute, each lost in our own little world.

Em sighed. "Isn't it amazing?" she said breathlessly. "Thinking that each of those stars is a big ball of gas, burning a million miles away."

"Hmmm." I breathed.

"When I look at these stars, it's like anything's possible, you know? There's a whole other world out there." She continued.

"Yep." I said. "And it's a comfort to know that I can just look up at night, and they'll be there."

"Yeah." She sighed contentedly. She sat up, propped up by her elbow. "So have you always come out here at night on you own?"

When she said that, it was like I got a sharp pain in my chest. No. I never used to come out alone. I was always here with Johnny. If anything could ruin the moment, that did. I took a little while answering.

"No." I said shortly. "I used to come here with Johnny."

"What was he like Ponyboy? Tell me about him."

I shook my head roughly, and squeezed my eyes shut, praying that she wouldn't see the tears that had formed in the corners.

"I'm sorry Ponyboy." She said, as she took my hand and squeezed it.

"That don't bring him back." I stated gruffly.

"I know. But I'm sorry all the same."

She lay back down and we both became absorbed in our daydreams again. I liked the fact that we didn't have to talk, but just be in each other's company.

I insisted on walking her home then, even thought she insisted that I shouldn't trouble to. She was sure a funny little thing. Always concerned for everyone else and never herself.

We reached the gate of her house. It was big. Very big of course, but it seemed somewhat lonely; with all the lights turned off in all the windows. Give me my little messy house any day. She hesitated and then turned towards me.

"I would invite you in or something but my daddy's not too nice, especially when he's been drinking liquor; which is most of the time."

"That's okay," It was sort of a relief. I don't think I'd really know how to act around a rich grown-man. I'd probably come across real cheesy. She pecked me timidly on the cheek and started to open her gate to go in but I grabbed her hand.

I leaned in and kissed her on the lips. Softly, shyly, tentatively, but still a kiss. My skin was probably about a hundred and fifty degrees when I pulled away. I didn't meet her eyes and started to turn away.

"I'm sorry…I don't know what I was…"

And this time it was her turn to grab my hand. She took me by surprise as she leaned in and it wasn't a timid kiss this time…much deeper then that. Then after a few long moments, she said "G'night…my Ponyboy" with a shy smile playing around her lips and went inside.

I ran energetically all the way home.

The next few months were the happiest I've had since my parents, Johnny and Dally died. Emily and me didn't have many classes together, even though we're both in the same year (we both skipped a year- she's a couple of months younger than me), but we met up almost every lunchtime. In our school, the Greaser's generally leave the school site for lunch, whereas the Socs hang around in the cafeteria. So, Emily and me usually ate our lunch on one of the lunch tables in the shade of the big oak trees out the back. Not too many people eat back there so we weren't interrupted too often.

The thing is, people aren't really accustomed to seeing a Soc and a Greaser together. Now that doesn't really bother us none, but it still doesn't make me feel too hot when people yell, "Get away from her, you scum!" to me and Emily doesn't particularly like people saying "Why are you hanging out with that trash, you traitor?"

So we sit at our lunch table away from all the nasty comments and funny looks. We even got into a little routine after a while. I give her all of my vegetables and she gives me half of her scalloped potatoes. This suits me just fine.

Sometimes we would study, sometimes we would just talk about anything and everything, sometimes we would just kiss and sometimes we would laugh about nothing in particular. We did all the things that an ordinary couple would do; went to the movies on a Friday night, out to dinner, hang around my house…but I still hadn't met her father or ever even been inside of her house. I knew it wasn't because she was embarrassed to be seen with me, she had already proven that, but I just didn't like the sound of him. In fact other then the comment that she made about him on the night she first came to my house, she didn't speak about him at all.

It was a Tuesday and I had already been waiting for Em for about twenty minutes, so I decided to go see if I could find her, since I was dying to read her this poem I had come across in an anthology.

I spotted her emerging from the girl's toilets. She was wearing a cute little blue dress and a navy cardigan.

As I started towards her, she saw me and turned hurriedly in the opposite direction.

Well now, that wasn't like her at all. I ran to catch up with her and grabbed her arm.

"Are you okay?" I asked with concern. As she turned to face me fully, I gasped. She had a large nicely purple bruised eye.

"Glory, how did you get that?"

She licked her lips uncomfortably.

"Keep your trap shut Ponyboy Curtis and leave well alone." And with that, she turned away from me, and ran clear out of the school gates. The only girl I had ever loved.

"Pony, what in heck is wrong with you? I thought you liked my beef stew."

I looked up, startled and stopped moving the stew around my plate with my fork. Darry continued speaking. "Well?"

I put my fork down slowly.

"I'm not hungry."

Soda and Darry looked at each other warily.

"What now?" I asked, bored. Darry, Soda and me had got on very well since Soda had come clean with Darry and me over how much our fighting actually bothered him. I knew me being petulant wasn't particularly going to help matters but I didn't care. I didn't know if I was worried about Em, or mad at her – but I couldn't stop thinking about her and that nasty looking black eye.

Soda put his hand gently on my shoulder.

"Listen, buddy, whatever sort of falling out you and that little Emily have had, it can be sorted. Count your lucky stars that she didn't get pregnant by another man and scarper off to Florida."

Both Darry and me looked at him immediately.

"What?" said Soda.

I shrugged.

"It's okay." Said Soda. "I'm much happier with Nell then I was with Sandy."

Nell and Sodapop had been together for quite a while now and she was perfect for Soda, crazy, sweet, loud and quiet, all rolled into one.

Darry narrowed his eyes at me again.

"I thought you and Em were fine. You seemed it the other day."

I went bright red and hurriedly picked up my fork again.

I wouldn't forget easily the incident when Darry, Soda, Two-bit and Steve had all walked in on Emily and me making out on the couch.

"Yeah." Said Soda "What with all the face-sucking going on."

"Soda!" I squeaked.

"Anyway" coughed Darry "Don't get too het up over whatever it is that's bothering you little man. Jeez, you know it will all be alright soon enough."

The rain poured down that night. I could hear it rattling on our roof as I settled into bed. It was around eleven o clock. Darry was already asleep and Soda was out with Nell. For all I knew, he'd be out all night long, so I had the whole bed to myself, with the inconvenience of being freezing without Soda's arm over me. I crawled under the blankets slightly more. Just as I was beginning to drift off into that place that isn't quite asleep and isn't quite awake, I heard a rattling on the door.

"Darry, door!" I yelled, but it came out muffled under all the blankets.

I wondered vaguely, as I got up to answer the door, who it was knocking, since Two-bit, Steve or even Tim Shepard would have just barged straight in.

I rubbed sleep out of my eyes and pulled the door open. Em was standing there, her clothes drenched and her normally bouncy curls sopping wet around her face.

"What's…" Before I could finish, she threw herself into my arms, crying. This girl who was usually so loud, energetic and brave, was crying in my arms.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I said to the top of her head quietly.

"No. I want you to know. It's my dad, he hit me. I'm sorry about earlier."

"For what?"

"For taking it out on you when you were just worried. I didn't want to talk then but I do now."

A while later, when she was changed into a pair of my sweatpants and a dry t-shirt, she lay on my bed with me, curled up against me. She cried for a while and we talked. We talked more than we ever have before. She told me all about her dad and her mother leaving and how alone she had felt. I told her all about Johnny and the church and my parents and Dally crumpling under the streetlight.

We must have talked for hours until finally we started to get more quiet and drowsy.

"I love you Pony. Do you know that?"

"I do now. I love you too."

I kissed her on the forehead, but she was already fast asleep against me.

I knew then that whatever else happened everything was going to be alright. Soda was wrong. Being in love isn't nice. It's wonderful.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Em and I both opened our eyes warily and looked around at the same time. There stood Darry with his arms folded, his eyes narrowed and a barely visible smirk on his face.

"Now Darry…."


End file.
